Thursday, March 15, 2012


So I have been thinking way too much lately, the monkey mind is having a party.  I feel like nothing is going right, I am failing and spiraling downward. I have retorted back to old ways of thinking. Anxiety has become a bad habit of mine and is where my mind goes when I can't handle all the bullshit. Duh! I'm human. Then I get angry with myself when I sit in meditation. I can't sit still, I am thinking the craziest shit. Then I sit down to write and nothing comes. I sit down with a book and I can't read two sentences. What the fuck! How do I dig myself out of this? It is awesome when you surrender and ask for help what you find.
I found this great article(blog) the other day. It was a blog someone wrote for tiny buddha. Something was finally soaking into my brain, or at least part of it. It reads(link below):

1. Acknowledge the good in yourself.

Yes, you need to improve, but see what is right with the picture, too. Perfection does not mean only seeing what is wrong.

2. Accept help from others.

Don’t be ashamed to accept help if it is going to make your life easier. Our best work can rarely be achieved single-handedly.

3. Be aware of your larger purpose.

Make an effort to not get lost in insignificant details and lose sight of your goal. Perfection does not equal nit-picking.

4. Aim for awesome, not flawless.

This can be tricky, since we could stop ourselves short fearing that we might be pushing ourselves too hard. Perfection tastes best when peppered with balance.

So after reading this I decided that I can definitely use this. I have saved it to my phone and will tape it on my bathroom mirror. I can't always be 100%. We have days that suck, we fall down. Its when we stay down that everything continues to suck. When things start to get real bad, it is important for us to look what is going right in our lives and also where we can learn and grow from the situation. That is a very hard thing to do but even if its one little thing. Look to things like the person who smiles at you or holds the door. The person who says thank you.

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