Thursday, June 21, 2012

Pulling yourself out of a rut!!!

I have learned many times through many ruts that only you can pull yourself out. But when you are in a rut it is so hard not to keep downward spiraling. I recently was in and out of a rut for a couple months. Most of the time there is a cause behind a rut, but sometimes we fall into the rut so hard that we have no idea how we got there. It's like all these small little things that push you further and further down. At some point we try to dig ourselves out. The most important thing is to ask for help. Here are some other things I have learned that help.

1) Ask for help.
Let me go into detail on this one. Ask someone you trust for help. A best friend, parent, teacher. Someone who you know that will not judge you or give you something negative or make you feel worse. I was in this rut and I was seeking help from the wrong people. When all I needed to do was call my best friend. She knows me better than anyone and she comforted me, hugged me and talked me back into therapy. If you go to the wrong person, keep talking with people until you find the right one. After talking to my best friend, things started to turn around. (Props to Sarah Anne!)

2) Do the opposite
If you tend to be someone that is a homebody, get out and do something that you wouldn't normally do. If you go out all the time, spend some time alone. I tend to be a homebody and I also isolate.  So getting out helped distract me from my negative thoughts. I bumped into an old friend and a friend of hers at the beach and laughed for hours! It also motivated me to put an effort into organizing events with friends and getting out more!! (Thanks Meredith and Pat)

3)Do something nice
This can range from smiling at the person who made your coffee to volunteering at a nursing home. When I go out to do errands, I make sure I smile at everyone, hold doors open and wish someone a good day. Even if that person is super cranky and does not say good morning to you, say it to them! There's too many grumpy people out there and you might make their day, in turn that will make your day!!!
Try it: Smile at 3 people.

4) Feeling lonely or homesick?
I feel this way often, I miss my parents, especially on Sundays. I feel alone because my family is scattered all over the country, we never get to be together. The best advice is to get out and meet people, join a group ( is great, you can search for events and groups in your city) or call up friends you haven't seen in a while. Make an effort to strengthen rocky friendships.
Also, if you are going to call home, call home once. Don't call home everyday, it will make you miss family more (once a week is plenty enough). Put an effort into making true healthy relationships where you currently are geographically. I put this advice into action and it helped me more than anything else! (Props to Ken F. for this)

5) Get in touch with your inner child
Watch a disney movie, buy a hula hoop and a jumprope. Seriously you'll crack yourself up. If you own property buy a trampoline (or a small one - Check out Gabrielle Bernsteins book add more ~ing to your life) Wear a 'new kids on the block' shirt or pop in a NSYNC CD or dance, or all three of those at the same time!

6) Write
Weather its a story or journal entry, just do it!!!!! Just set a timer for 10- 15 minutes and pour your heart out. It might help you find out why you are in a rut. It also is a huge release. No one will read this so write all your dirty little secrets ; ) !
(I am working on a blog about writing: check back soon!)

7) Do yoga
Do yoga til you become a yoga. I don't really know what that means, maybe do yoga until you are blue in the face. Nope thats not yoganic either. Just do yoga!!!!! Try a gentle class if you are a beginner. If your not a beginner just make a commitment to get to a class. If you are broke- youtube it!!!

I was able to write this now, after I have been feeling more like myself.  I had been jotting all these things down I was doing, what worked and what didn't. I hope this will help anyone who is in a rut! These six things helped me so much. Along with amazing friends, family and a kick ass roommate. I am back in therapy and I am not afraid to admit it. Therapy is helping me get in touch with my needs and working on fulfilling them. With all of the things above I was able to pull myself out of the rut, stronger than ever!
If this has helped you please comment, give feedback. I do have more advice, contact me if you need it!!!!

Namaste !