Sunday, February 26, 2012

Landing into the universes arms

  I am have been struggling for a while with money.  I am not in debt, I actually have never been in debt or borrowed money from anyone. I have lived on my own since I was 21 and have supported myself fully. Times got tough when I moved to Rhode Island. I am just making enough money to live. I am barely saving. And since I have to eat a certain diet because for medical reasons food costs me $85 a week, sometimes more. My medical insurance sucks, so I constantly have medical bills.
  When I lived in New Jersey, I had this abundant amount of money, I wasted a lot of it I can promise you that. I made good money at my past job(or at least compared to were I am now) but I was so unhappy. I failed miserably at job and in my relationships, everything had fallen apart. I lost so many friends, I lost a house I was purchasing, I had to move back in with my parents- It felt like the world was caving in.
  So I moved to Rhode Island trusting that it would all work out. And it did(for the most part). I was lucky enough to make money cleaning houses and nannying to make ends meet. I didn't complain. I wanted to be here, the universe sent these odd jobs to me so that I can stay here to find a job in my field. And then I did- but now I don't make any money, I don't get the respect I deserve and I don't even get to do half of the things I am allowed to do with my license. And now after being at my job for almost a year, it seems as if my responsibilities have increased, my frustrations and stress has increased, but my pay has not.
  I have been sad and stressed out, especially in the past week. I am stressed about money and finding and apartment and moving by April 1st. I miss my parents but won't have time to go see them this month. I miss my brother but a $700 plane ticket is out of the question. So yesterday the solution to my problems and stress was to just cry until I could get myself up to get laundry and unpacking from florida done. I wound up getting a lot done and making it to yoga.
  So I have to make a very big decision to stay in RI. I love it here, I would miss the beaches, the summers, I would sad to leave the awesome yoga studios I have found here. I know I need to find a different job, one that allows me to feel confident and happy, one where the pay reflects my work. There are not many jobs here in my field. Rhode Islands law and regulations of Dental Assistants are not strict at all, so my license means nothing here. But I feel this is not for me to decide. I will give it til December, 9 months. If things do not improve I will leave. I am surrendering all of my drama, worries and anxieties up to God. I am trusting the universe to take care of me. When things don't work out there is always a better way. I trust that everything will work out, even if the Jersey girl has to go back to Jersey!


  1. Great post. Stay where you are happy. :)
    We need to do dinner/brunch soon. I'll cook.

  2. Thanks!! I am so down for that- brunch sounds amazing- lets plan!