Friday, March 16, 2012

Prayers and answers

  Growing up Catholic I learned to pray. Well, I guess I never really understood it, I just kind of followed along. Said Hail Mary and Our Fathers, but never really understanding any of it. I did what I was told to do and what was expected of me. I never was able to do what I wanted or believe what I wanted. Coming away from that is hard. As catholics we tend to feel guilty about the things we do, we are told we are wrong. Saying I am not Catholic not only brings my mother to tears but makes me feel like I am going to hell. Go Fig~

  One day I asked someone what is the purpose of prayer, why do we pray?  I never got a straight answer- one day you will learn, one day you will understand. Well, one day I got the answer and it wasn't in a church or while saying the Our Father. I came to a yoga class I had never gone to before. It was one I would have never chose to go to, something higher brought me there. Through a meditation the message was loud and clear "just ask!" So I started asking. I also started getting answers. I call them prayers, but they have no form and they are not specifically to a god. I guess they are to the universe or air or whatever is out there that is listening. I just say something like- I need to receive more money, I have a purpose that is bigger than this and because you are bigger than me I ask this of you. And let me tell you, this was my exact prayer about two months ago. Out of the blue I received a ridiculous amount of phone calls for babysitting. I have been pulling in an extra $60-$120 a week. I also was granted more time at work so I can finish some things that stressed me out. I found a new apartment that will be about $200 cheaper a month. It was truly a blessing. I must reassure you this money will be. I also must say this money is not a free give away, I am working very hard to receive this extra money.

  Something I also have been praying on is strength in relationships. I have always struggled with relationships with people, friends specifically. I had been feeling very weak in a couple of my friendships and I did not know what the future of these friendships would be. In the past I would have thrown in the towel at the first crack in the pavement. Now I know that any good relationship takes work, mixed with a little love, even when it's hard. So love to each of these "on the rocks" friendships took a turn this week. One friendship in particular I had been upset over was with my friend Katie. I  had not seen her in a while, it was like we both dropped off the face of the earth. Katie is such an amazing friend and a great person. A very successful Surface Warfare Officer for the Navy.  I have always had this sense she was put into my life for a reason, as all people are. Every time I talk to her I walk away from the conversation feeling relaxed and at ease. She is always positive and happy and has the most amazing aura I have ever felt. She has such a great outlook on life and what I truly needed was just to be around her more. Today we talked over lunch and I told her my dreams of running a half marathon. How I have always "wanted" to be a "runner". She said lets pick a date and run 8 miles. At first I was doubtful of being able to do it, especially after never running more than 5 miles. She said, "well only reason I ran a half marathon was because someone was patient with me.  I was in your shoes once and will be patient with you." How awesome is that!!! Totally reassure me that I can any distance I want. She continued to say "I know what you mean by always wanting to be a runner, because I have always wanted to do yoga. And you are part of the reason, you inspired me." Holy crap that made me feel so awesome, I love hearing that especially because I am aspiring to be a Yoga teacher and would hope to have that reaction one day from all of my students. Going to lunch with her was a blessing, we have planned to run and do yoga together this week and I am so thrilled to share both of these with her. Both yoga and running have been huge outlets for my mind and body. They have shown me patience, mental and physical strength, love, happiness...etc...etc I could go on forever! Why not share all of this with someone who has given me so much! 
I feel so blessed and am truly thankful for all that I have in my life, who I have in my life and what has been given to me. Amen!

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