Friday, March 30, 2012

Home is a place of peace.

For the past  5 years of my life my home has been a very unstable place. Let me elaborate. I moved out of my parents house 5 years ago. Ever since then I have moved about 6 times. Most of them were decisions I made to establish a better "home" environment. When I think of "home" I think of  safety, security, love, peace.  Unfortunately it took me a long time to find that. 
The first 2 apartments I had in NJ we fully of some terrible memories. When I was at rock bottom I lived in these places, they were full of negativity and anger, regret, stress, suffering and hate.  These homes supported me while I struggled with depression and an eating disorder. The images I have looking back are ones I have chosen to leave behind. The only good thing about moving is that you can start fresh and create a new aura for your new home. And this is something I always neglected to do. But not this time.
 In my new home I plan to carry no negativity, anger, hate, suffering, fear, stress etc. No raising voices or screaming. I have made this commitment to my own heart to leave everything outside. If strong negative emotion arises,  I take it outside to the dumpster and dump it.  Even if I have to physically take out the trash, garbage yoga!  It does not follow me back into my home, because once you take out the trash you don't jump in the dumpster  and grab a banana peel. Also my bedroom will be an ultimate place of peace. I sleep, read, meditate, practice yoga, get dressed and thats it. No facebook, email, phone, tv or any source of  technology turned on in my bedroom. I don't even find that this would be difficult, I am not worried, I am ecstatic!!!
I keep laughing at all the boxes and mess I am surrounded in, it is complete chaos. My ADD allows me to do 7 different things at once. So I literally have everything half packed. I am not worried, I know it will get done. I am going to take the whole day to pack, with meditation and inspirational reading breaks. I also will be reaffirming myself all day out loud "you are doing this out of love."

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